雅思小作文结论如何写出7分句

来源：济南新通雅思培训学校时间：2020/12/29 12:01:57

　　真题，被惩罚后
　　罪犯继续犯罪的原因及解决办法
　　Many criminals continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it.Why do you think this happens?How can we solve this problem?（2020/11/7)
　　解析
　　题材：犯罪
　　题型：Report
　　关键词：
　　criminals continue to commit crimes+reasons+solutions
　　需要讨论的观点：
　　被惩罚后的罪犯继续犯罪，原因何在，怎么解决？
　　建议思路：
　　从物质、心理、社会层次分析原因，然后提出解决办法
　　复现情况：古老旧题
　　审题
　　向上滑动阅览
　　本次考试的题材涉及犯罪，是一个非常古老的题目，应该在2010年以前出现过。
　　唐老师多次提醒过，对于“原因分析”类的题目，我们都可以采用“层次”的思路来应对，即“物质层次”“心理层次”和“社会层次”。
　　已经受过惩罚的人，为什么会继续犯罪呢？原因无非是三条：
　　1.犯过罪的人，即使出了监狱，往往也找不到工作，于是只能重操旧业。
　　2.监狱往往用比较粗暴的方法对待罪犯，不仅不能从心理上解决罪犯的问题，反而让他们对社会产生报复的不良心理。
　　3.犯过罪的人，往往难以得到社会的认可，不被社会容纳，因此很容易让他们重新走上犯罪的道路。
　　解决办法：
　　1.改进监狱的教育改造方法，让罪犯从心底里重新热爱社会；
　　2.正面宣传出狱的犯人，让社会接纳他们，并为他们创造就业机会。
　　7分范文
　　向上滑动阅览
　　Research shows that globally more than 20%of criminals,the majority of whom are young adults,will revert to anti-social behaviour after being released from prison.There are,to my mind,three reasons why this happens.
　　Many criminals find they simply cannot find a job to support themselves after being freed from prison.Having been secluded from the real world for a long while,they find themselves no longer needed by the world that changes on a daily basis.Then,without a choice,they have to steal,rob,or even kill people,just for survival’s sake.
　　Another important reason has to do with the criminals’experience in prison.Many criminals complain that they have received improper treatment while they are in prison.They are verbally abused,physically punished,and mentally despised.Consequently,when they go out of prison,what fills their heart is hatred,rather than love,for the world.
　　Finally,most former criminals are not really accepted by the general society of mankind.Having biased views on them,people always try to avoid them,not to mention making friends with them,leaving them isolated from the rest of the world.Then,just like the beast in Frankenstein,they easily get involved in anti-social behaviour of various kinds.
　　To prevent criminals from committing crimes again,the first and foremost thing that ought to be done is improving the quality and effectiveness of prison education which should be carried out with the aim to turning the prisoners into good people rather than victims of physical punishment.Then,perhaps more importantly,the general public should be made to understand that the former criminals also deserve the right of a good life.If the government and individuals alike tried their best to help the criminals by creating job opportunities for them and showing enough respect,I believe they would eventually come back to normal life and would not commit more crimes.

　　（321 words)

雅思小作文结论如何写出7分句

　　老师笔记
　　01
　　Research shows that globally more than 20%of criminals,the majority of whom are young adults,will revert to anti-social behaviour after being released from prison.There are,to my mind,three reasons why this happens.
　　研究表明，在范围内，超过20%的罪犯，其中大多数是年轻人，将在出狱后重走反社会老路。在我看来，这有三个原因。
　　解析
　　(1)本段通过恰当引用数据引出话题，并提示将分析3个理由，以下2-4段，每段分析一个理由。有些老师不建议在雅思作文中用数据，但实际上若使用得当，这是完全可以的。
　　(2)Globally范围内地
　　(3)The majority of...多数......
　　(4)Revert to...恢复（以前的某个坏习惯，比如revert to smoking）
　　02
　　Many criminals find they simply cannot find a job to support themselves after being freed from prison.Having been secluded from the real world for a long while,they find themselves no longer needed by the world that changes on a daily basis.Then,without a choice,they have to steal,rob,or even kill people,just for survival’s sake.
　　很多罪犯发现他们在出狱后根本找不到工作养活自己。与现实世界隔绝很长一段时间后，他们发现自己不再被日新月异的世界所需要。这样，他们没有选择，只能偷窃，抢劫，甚至杀人，只是为了生存。
　　解析
　　(1)本段讨论原因一：找不到工作，为了生存，只好再犯罪。注意：中间一句简单讨论了找不到工作的原因。
　　(2)Seclude隔绝
　　(3)For a long while很长一段时间
　　(4)On a daily basis每天地
　　(5)For survival’s sake为了生存的缘故
　　03
　　Another important reason has to do with the criminals’experience in prison.Many criminals complain that they have received improper treatment while they are in prison.They areverbally abused,physically punished,and mentally despised.Consequently,when they go out of prison,what fills their heart is hatred,rather than love,for the world.
　　另一个重要原因与罪犯在监狱中的经历有关。许多罪犯抱怨说，他们在狱中受到了不适当的待遇。他们受到辱骂、体罚和精神鄙视。因此，当他们走出监狱时，他们心中充满的是对世界的仇恨，而不是爱。
　　解析
　　(1)本段讨论原因之二：在监狱里没有得到适当的对待，因而产生仇恨的情绪。
　　(2)To have to do with...与......相关
　　(3)Verbally语言上地
　　(4)Despise鄙视
　　(5)Consequently结果；因此
　　04
　　Finally,most former criminals are not really accepted by the general society of mankind.Having biased views on them,people always try to avoid them,not to mention making friends with them,leaving them isolated from the rest of the world.Then,just like the beast in Frankenstein,they easily get involved in anti-social behaviour of various kinds.
　　后，大多数前罪犯并没有真正被人类的一般社会所接受。由于对他们有偏见的看法，人们总是试图回避他们，更不用说与他们交朋友，使他们与世界其他地方隔绝。然后，就像《弗兰肯斯坦》中的野兽一样，他们很容易陷入各种反社会行为。
　　解析
　　(1)本段讨论原因之三：社会不接受导致出狱的罪犯再次犯罪。注意，本段使用了《弗兰肯斯坦》的典故。
　　(2)Biased有偏见的
　　(3)Not to mention...更不用说......
　　(4)Isolate使......隔离
　　(5)Get involved in...陷入；卷入
　　05
　　To prevent criminals from committing crimes again,the first and foremost thing that ought to be done is improving the quality and effectiveness of prison education which should be carried out with the aim to turning the prisoners into good people rather than victims of physical punishment.Then,perhaps more importantly,the general public should be made to understand that the former criminals also deserve the right of a good life.If the government and individuals alike tried their best to help the criminals by creating job opportunities for them and showing enough respect,I believe they would eventually come back to normal life and would not commit more crimes.
　　为了防止罪犯再次犯罪，首先应该做的是提高监狱教育的质量和效果，监狱的教育应旨在使囚犯成为好人，而不是体罚的受害者。其次，也许更重要的是，应该让大众明白，前罪犯也应该享有美好生活的权利。如果政府和个人都尽力帮助罪犯，为他们创造就业机会，并表现出足够的尊重，我相信他们终会恢复正常生活，不会犯下更多的罪行。
　　解析
　　(1)本段提出解决办法：是提高监狱教育的质量；第二是让公众尊重罪犯。
　　(2)First and foremost首要的
　　(3)With the aim to doing...旨在做......
　　(4)Deserve值得
　　(5)Eventually终
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